英文简历中不该出现的话

 

致命的大错
"Finished 8th in my high school graduating class of 10." 
"Qualifications: No education or experience." 

"I am relatively intelligent, obedient and loyal as a puppy." 
"My compensation should be at least equal to my age." 

"Reason for Leaving: It had to do with the IRS, FBI and SEC." 
"Fired because I fought for lower pay." 

"Size of employer: Very tall, probably over 6'5" . 
" "Please disregard the enclosed resume-it is terribly out of date." 

"Reason for Leaving: My boss said the end of the world is near." 
"Reason for Leaving: The owner gave new meaning to the word 'paranoia.' I pr 

efer to elaborate privately." 

 

打字错误与语法错误
"Here are my qualifications for you to overlook." 
"Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer." 

"I am a rabid typist." 
"Work History: Performed brain wave tests,1879-1981." 

"After receiving advice from several different angels, I have decided to pur 
sue a new line of work." 

"Accounting cleric." 
"As indicted, I have over five years of experience analyzing investments." 

"Suspected to graduate early next year." 
"Disposed of $2.5 billion in assets." 

"Proven ability to track down and correct erors." 
"Accomplishments: Oversight of entire department." 

"Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details." 
"Accomplishments: Completed 11 years of high school." 

 

不应有的幽默
"Note: Keep this resume on top of the stack. Use all others to heat your hou 

se." 
"Assisted in daily preparation of large quantities of consumable items in a 

fast-paced setting." (Translation: Short-order cook.) 
"But wait...there's more. You get all this business knowledge plus a grasp o 

f marketing that is second nature." 
"I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse." 

"My fortune cookie said, 'Your next interview will result in a job'-and I li 
ke your company in particular." 

"Title: Another resume from the 'Profiles in Excellence' series." 

"Also Known As: Mr. Productivity, Mr. Clever, Mr.Fix-it." 
"Trustworthy references available upon request-if I give them a few bucks." 

"Let's meet so you can 'ooh' and 'ahh' over my experience." 
   
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